Restless and Lost

Non knitting talk
Since getting in from work I have spent the last two hours sitting at our pc and looking for flights and hotels. We are going to Poland in June for a wedding and have decided that we would like to spend a couple of days in Krakow, as we have to fly in to there anyway.
For some reason it never entered my head that we would be so close to Auschwitz-Birkenau, and at less than 50 miles away it is too close not to go. As a teenager I read the Diary of Anne Frank and marvelled at her strength and that of her father, who after losing his family was prepared to share at little part of them with the rest of the world. When I was in my early 20's I visited the Anne Frank house in Amsterdam and remember that day being such a very sad day. At first I walked in and thought, yeah it's just another building, but gradually the feeling of the place overwhelmed me. I don't remember seeing one dry eye in the whole place, but maybe it was just me looking at everyone through very damp eyes. By going to Auschwitz I will be able to follow her there and almost complete the journey. In a weird way I am looking forward to going. I have heard so many stories of the place over the years, through documentaries, books and film, that it will be interesting and probably upsetting to go there, but I feel that it is something that I must do.

Knitting talk
On the knitting front, I'm a bit restless. Our knitting group has moved from every Tuesday to every second Tuesday and I don't know what to do with myself. I know I can knit, but it isn't the same without having someone to blether to. I can only talk knitting for so long with my beloved other half before he gets bored. I am still loving the shawl pattern that I am doing, and still hating the colourway. I have decided that I will bleach/overdye it. I don't think I can cope with the colours. I have so many ideas buzzing around my brain that it's getting a bit full and is ready to blow. There are so many things I want to make, and so few hours in the day. I need to get my finger out and just get on with it, but the pressures of being a full time employee, wife & mother does tire me out somedays. It doesn't help when I get calls from friends saying what a poor friend I am for not being in touch for almost two weeks, and why didn't I call when I was in town etc..etc.. Sometimes when I get an hour or two to myself, that's it, I want it to myself. Not having to be polite and saying yes in all the right places.
Last Saturday I went with a friend to a yarn store that I hadn't been to in a long time. It was great to just look and feel pretty yarn and look at all the lovely colours. We then spent the whole afternoon and most of the evening knitting. It was nice to just sit, be quiet and knit. I hadn't realised how much my brain was crying out for the peace that knitting gives me.
Maybe sometimes you just have to be quiet and calm before you can realise how restless and lost you have become.

Bite the bullet

I must admit, I am a lazy knitter. I get bored easily and switch from one project to the next without a thought about how much time and effort I have spent on the previous project. I have so many UFO's it's like a graveyard for them in my house. However, that being said, I have managed to complete one or two projects so far this year.

It's such a beautiful day here in Ellon, and my other half is out scuba diving for the day. Rather him than me, the water doesn't get much above 2°c in the North Sea. Anyhoo, I have decided to clear out my stash corner that was looking a little untidy to say the least. I have seperated out the acrylic from the good stuff, and am in the process of finding a home for it all. I have been on an embargo, but I can't help myself when I see something pretty. Sometimes you just have to bite the bullet and get on with it. The basket in the photo is approx. 3ft long x 16" wide and as you can see is quite full :)

I was talking to my friends and hubby the other night and got the evil eye from my hubby when I mentioned the stash problem. Of course I retorted that it wasn't anywhere near the amount that he spent on gadgets. I was totally flabbergasted when he replied, "Oh but I don't buy most of it, you do". Thinking about it, once I got over the initial shock, I realised that I have bought quite a number of his gadgets and gizmos over the years, so now I feel less guilty about buying things for me :)

Here are a two of my completed projects.

A little jumper for my daughter's friend. She has just had a baby boy and I thought it would be cute. It is made from Sirdar Crofter, and is quite nice to work with. I didn't like the fact that I had to keep winding off yarn to get a good stripe match though. I had four balls of this, and not one of them started in the same place for the colour change.

A hat for me, made from Rowan Lima. One serious point to note. Wash it well before wearing it. If you don't wash it and just pop it on. Make sure it isn't going to rain. This stuff stinks worse than a dead dog when it is wet and it also stretches. I made mine on needles that were 2 sizes smaller than required, and it stretched like the devil when it got wet. I ended up sticking it in the tumble dryer to felt it slightly. That being said, it is so soft, and a pleasure to work with.

Christmas

I know, it is only the middle of October, but I am off work for a week and I have been trying to get ahead with my Christmas preparations.

Last weekend my hubby ordered me a new sewing machine, so I am waiting very impatiently for that to arrive. I hope it's soon.


I have started to make a Christmas throw using some fabric that I bought recently. I made a bit of a boob when doing the first block. I was going to have the holly fabric going from small to large and then in to the flowers, with the opposite side being quite neutral. As you can see I got carried away and put it on opposite corners. I quite like the effect, so will do the rest of the blocks the same way. I am making six blocks like this, and will then probably do something different round the edges. I haven't quite decided what yet. Unfortunately the picture doesn't quite show the colours very clearly, but it is very Christmassy and vibrant.


The cushion is something that I started making a few years ago from a kit I found when trawling a charity shop. I was very good and had hand sewn all the pieces on except the reindeer. I got bored with it and put it away to work on when I got the urge. A few months ago we converted our study in to a craft room and as I was sorting through my rather large stash of card making and scrap booking items, I found the bag with this in. I bit the bullet and decided to complete it and this time decided to satin stitch around the edges with the sewing machine. There are a few errors, and Santa doesn't have any eyes yet, but I am happy with it. The back is made from a cheap fleece throw that I bought in our local Asda (Walmart).






The weather here is very damp and miserable today, so it is ideal for sitting in front of my machine and playing. I also have my computer behind me, so I can listen to my favourite tv shows via C4 on demand or I can listen to one of the presentations from Create & Craft, providing it isn't Stephanie.

Where has the time gone to?

Since I last wrote, I have changed jobs, become a mother in law, and lost, then found my knitting.

In June 2007 my oldest daughter cam home from work and complained that she had a black spot on one of her eyes. As she had been arc welding a few days before, we thought nothing of it and told her to go to the doctors the following morning. The next week was spent going backwards and forwards to the hospital for various checks, and then finally being admitted to hospital. Initially the prognosis was that she had a cyst behind her eye and they would drain it. On further checking, it was found that she had a tumour on her shunt, and her brain was swelling becuase there was no where for the excess fluid to go to. Needless to say we were very worried when they told us that the top of her skull would be removed and the surgeon would have to go between the two halves of the brain to remove it.

A week later the operation was done, and she was allowed home. There was a lot of memory loss, mainly short term, but we got there. Her boyfiend never left her side and he was the only one that she really looked for when she opened her eyes in the morning.

On 20th June 2008, my daughter and her boyfriend were married. It was a week before her 20th birthday. Most people thought she was crazy, but he had been by her side through one of the hardest things, so it just seemed like a natural conlusion.

During this time we also had a lodger, who moved in for a few weeks and ended up staying for almost 3 years. He now has a home of his own with his girlfriend, and my house has returned to it's usual chaotic regime.

I left my job as a carer in October 2008, and was employed as a temporary receptionist. In February 2009, I became a full time receptioist, travel booker & document controller with a local engineering company.

It has been a crazy time, and my knitting & spinning have been on hold.

I now have a new craft room, access to my pc and am free to knit, spin, card make and play to my hearts content.

Nothing much

Nothing much to relate this week. Work is blah, everyone and their grannie are either on holiday or off sick. Yesterday I was playing catch up all day and almost met myself coming back.

So here's a few things to make you smile.

Now I lay me down to sleep
I pray the Lord
My shape to keep.
Please no wrinkles
Please no bags
And please lift my butt
Before it sags.
Please no age spots
Please no gray
And as for my belly,
Please take it away.
Please keep me healthy
Please keep me young!
And thank you Dear Lord
For all that you've done.

Five tips for a woman....

1. It is important that a man helps you around the house and has a job.

2. It is important that a man makes you laugh.

3.. It is important to find a man you can count on! and doesn't lie to you.

4. It is important that a man loves you and spoils you.

5. It is important that these four men don't know each other.

Foot Note:

One saggy boob said to the other saggy boob:
"If we don't get some support soon, people will think we're nuts."

Weird weather

Well so far April has been a funny month, and we are only on day 4. Sunday was a beautifully clear day and it was quite warm, well warm for Scotland that is. I was sweating buckets as I was wondering round my home town and visiting my clients, and the day stayed fairly calm and bright. Today is now Tuesday and it has been hailing and snowing on and off all morning. It's no bloody wonder that people are going down like flies with chest infections and colds. I'm still on steroids and have just finished my second course of antibiotics, and am still not 100%.

So far this year I have had a shitty time of it and this weekend hasn't been any better. My mum phoned on Saturday morning and told me that her mum had died and she was quite upset. I'm not sure how to feel about it. I should be upset because she was my grandmother, but I never really knew her or thought about her. My mum was adopted and raised by an aunt from the age of 5, so her birth mother never had all that much to do with her after that. As a child I knew who she was, but she wasn't my gran, I had a gran and she was just another auntie. We never got cards or presents from her, and the only time we saw her was when she was wanting something or she came over with my mum's sister. It is a strange family. There were 7 siblings in total, mum being the 2nd oldest. She has one full brother, 4 half brothers and a half sister. Her sister died some years ago, and she was the only one who really kept in contact. I haven't seen any of my uncles since I was a child. I probably wouldn't recognise them if I saw them in the street. Over the years her oldest brother has been in touch, but he's always been a sort of on/off sort of person. I has just hit him now that mum is his only full blood relative and he's trying his best to make up for the lost years. Of course mum is full of "what if's" and "If only's" but you can't live your life like that. I think she will be upset on Thursday, but now she can look forward and not have to worry about trying to make things ok in Violets life. She never made sure mum was ok and never extended that motherly hand when it was needed. I probably sound quite bitter, but I don't think I am. What you've never had, you never miss. Do you?

Knitting has once again been relegated to the back burner, but I have been doing some crochet. I've quite enjoyed leafing through one of my new books and choosing what I want to do. Eventually I will sew all the squares together and make a blanket, but it will be more of a sampler than a properly thought out thing. I'm not in the mood to make a dozen of one colour, then a dozen of another, I just want to play. I'll probably take my crochet to work tomorrow because I have a 24 hour shift and some of it will be spent at the community centre, so plenty of time to just mess about with shapes and colours. I've been trying to teach one of the social workers how to crochet and it is quite funny watching her. She's all fingers and thumbs. I have to sit on my hands and let her do it, but I just want to grab it and say no, you do it like this.

Friday can't come fast enough for me this week because we are getting a new tv. Personally I'm happy to watch anything, but hubby has ordered and all singing all dancing plasma tv and it arrives Friday morning. It is HD ready and had freeview too. We aren't able to get freeview here, but we do have Sky so that should be fun.

Happy Mother's Day

Here in bonnie Scotland, the sun has been shining and it is Mother's Day. Today is the first day in a long time that it has felt like spring has arrived. It is also the day the clocks go forward. Of course we forgot and were happily just languishing around the house and doing nothing in particular until #2 daughter came down and asked why her computer was saying it was an hour further on than she thought it was. It then dawned on us that we had once again forgotten to change the clocks. Luckily for Gary and I neither of us were working. Unluckily for me I have a chest infection and aren't able to work at the moment. I'm sick of being sick. I've only been back at work for a week and a half after being off with my knee and now I'm laid low with this damned infection. My doctor is one of those who usually prescribes paracetamol and ibuprofen or a herbal remedy rather than antibiotics, but he took one look at me and listened to my chest and threw the lot at me. I have to take the usual dose of antibiotics, but he also prescribed a course of steroids to really get a grip of it. My lungs were so congested that when he did a peak/flow test my reading was over 200 points less than it should have been. This was after doing a best of 3 and each time it got worse.
On a brighter note, I got some nice cards and pressies. Kylie bought me a lovely card and a Russell Watson CD. He's not my favourite singer, but I wouldn't tell her that. Natalie bought me a card and a toy sunflower that I've nicknamed AudreyII from here. Sad I know, but I thought it fitting. Rachel bought me some yummy chocolate truffles and a card. Unfortunately my sense of taste has gone to pot, so I only know that they taste nice from having them before. Gary didn't buy me a card, but he did buy me the Lascivious Biddies - Get Lucky and I'm enjoying listening to them whilst I write this. If you listen to Brenda Dayne's Cast-On you will have heard them on more than one occasion, she uses one of their songs for the start of today's sweater and has also played a couple more of their tracks in past pod-casts. I keep laughing because every time one of my family come in to have a word they listen to what I'm playing and all of them have had a little dance. Now my family have quite diverse listening preferences, and the Biddies are not on any one of their lists, but they are enjoying them. One more notch on mum's bedpost for introducing my family new music and artists :-)
On the knitting front things have gone slowly again. I love knitting and my head is buzzing from all the ideas that I have, but I just haven't hadn't the energy to think about it this week. I did start the front of the effing sweater, but I made about 6 mistakes in the first few rows. Luckily I saw them, but have been too tired to sort it out. Once more it lies unloved in the basket. I have to get cracking, I'm almost a month behind and I hate that. I want to get it finished, but haven't got the inclination or the energy to do it.