Restless and Lost

Non knitting talk
Since getting in from work I have spent the last two hours sitting at our pc and looking for flights and hotels. We are going to Poland in June for a wedding and have decided that we would like to spend a couple of days in Krakow, as we have to fly in to there anyway.
For some reason it never entered my head that we would be so close to Auschwitz-Birkenau, and at less than 50 miles away it is too close not to go. As a teenager I read the Diary of Anne Frank and marvelled at her strength and that of her father, who after losing his family was prepared to share at little part of them with the rest of the world. When I was in my early 20's I visited the Anne Frank house in Amsterdam and remember that day being such a very sad day. At first I walked in and thought, yeah it's just another building, but gradually the feeling of the place overwhelmed me. I don't remember seeing one dry eye in the whole place, but maybe it was just me looking at everyone through very damp eyes. By going to Auschwitz I will be able to follow her there and almost complete the journey. In a weird way I am looking forward to going. I have heard so many stories of the place over the years, through documentaries, books and film, that it will be interesting and probably upsetting to go there, but I feel that it is something that I must do.

Knitting talk
On the knitting front, I'm a bit restless. Our knitting group has moved from every Tuesday to every second Tuesday and I don't know what to do with myself. I know I can knit, but it isn't the same without having someone to blether to. I can only talk knitting for so long with my beloved other half before he gets bored. I am still loving the shawl pattern that I am doing, and still hating the colourway. I have decided that I will bleach/overdye it. I don't think I can cope with the colours. I have so many ideas buzzing around my brain that it's getting a bit full and is ready to blow. There are so many things I want to make, and so few hours in the day. I need to get my finger out and just get on with it, but the pressures of being a full time employee, wife & mother does tire me out somedays. It doesn't help when I get calls from friends saying what a poor friend I am for not being in touch for almost two weeks, and why didn't I call when I was in town etc..etc.. Sometimes when I get an hour or two to myself, that's it, I want it to myself. Not having to be polite and saying yes in all the right places.
Last Saturday I went with a friend to a yarn store that I hadn't been to in a long time. It was great to just look and feel pretty yarn and look at all the lovely colours. We then spent the whole afternoon and most of the evening knitting. It was nice to just sit, be quiet and knit. I hadn't realised how much my brain was crying out for the peace that knitting gives me.
Maybe sometimes you just have to be quiet and calm before you can realise how restless and lost you have become.