Tuesday, April 04, 2006

Weird weather

Well so far April has been a funny month, and we are only on day 4. Sunday was a beautifully clear day and it was quite warm, well warm for Scotland that is. I was sweating buckets as I was wondering round my home town and visiting my clients, and the day stayed fairly calm and bright. Today is now Tuesday and it has been hailing and snowing on and off all morning. It's no bloody wonder that people are going down like flies with chest infections and colds. I'm still on steroids and have just finished my second course of antibiotics, and am still not 100%.

So far this year I have had a shitty time of it and this weekend hasn't been any better. My mum phoned on Saturday morning and told me that her mum had died and she was quite upset. I'm not sure how to feel about it. I should be upset because she was my grandmother, but I never really knew her or thought about her. My mum was adopted and raised by an aunt from the age of 5, so her birth mother never had all that much to do with her after that. As a child I knew who she was, but she wasn't my gran, I had a gran and she was just another auntie. We never got cards or presents from her, and the only time we saw her was when she was wanting something or she came over with my mum's sister. It is a strange family. There were 7 siblings in total, mum being the 2nd oldest. She has one full brother, 4 half brothers and a half sister. Her sister died some years ago, and she was the only one who really kept in contact. I haven't seen any of my uncles since I was a child. I probably wouldn't recognise them if I saw them in the street. Over the years her oldest brother has been in touch, but he's always been a sort of on/off sort of person. I has just hit him now that mum is his only full blood relative and he's trying his best to make up for the lost years. Of course mum is full of "what if's" and "If only's" but you can't live your life like that. I think she will be upset on Thursday, but now she can look forward and not have to worry about trying to make things ok in Violets life. She never made sure mum was ok and never extended that motherly hand when it was needed. I probably sound quite bitter, but I don't think I am. What you've never had, you never miss. Do you?

Knitting has once again been relegated to the back burner, but I have been doing some crochet. I've quite enjoyed leafing through one of my new books and choosing what I want to do. Eventually I will sew all the squares together and make a blanket, but it will be more of a sampler than a properly thought out thing. I'm not in the mood to make a dozen of one colour, then a dozen of another, I just want to play. I'll probably take my crochet to work tomorrow because I have a 24 hour shift and some of it will be spent at the community centre, so plenty of time to just mess about with shapes and colours. I've been trying to teach one of the social workers how to crochet and it is quite funny watching her. She's all fingers and thumbs. I have to sit on my hands and let her do it, but I just want to grab it and say no, you do it like this.

Friday can't come fast enough for me this week because we are getting a new tv. Personally I'm happy to watch anything, but hubby has ordered and all singing all dancing plasma tv and it arrives Friday morning. It is HD ready and had freeview too. We aren't able to get freeview here, but we do have Sky so that should be fun.

2 comments:

Lisa said...

I don't think you're being unfeeling. I think you're being realistic.

I hope you're feeling better healthwise soon. We've been lucky this year so far and haven't had too much illness to deal with.

knitsnspins said...

Thanks Lisa. I'm feeling better today, although still easily tired.